A Seat at the Table

 Note: Last November, my wife wrote a series of Facebook posts on hospitality. They were most helpful. I have combined them with her permission into a short, two-part blog series. Here's the second part:

 

Obstacles to Practicing Hospitality

Have you ever noticed the most important things are often the hardest to attain? How is it that when something comes about easily for us, we often take it for granted? It should come as no surprise then that there will be obstacles when we try to be hospitable. Here are a few:

1. My house is a wreck 

We named our home Saint's Rest;
we want people to be refreshed
by their time with us.

Many people are living in what the Fly Lady calls CHAOS... can't have anyone over syndrome. Believe it or not, this is the easiest obstacle to hurdle! Soap and water are cheap, and they sell garbage bags at the dollar tree! The best thing you can do when your house is a wreck is... start cleaning! Clean out the fridge, sort through the toys, clear the counters, stay home, and wash the clothes you already own instead of going shopping to buy more. Be ruthless! If it's not nailed down, throw it out! Studies show that 80% of the items in our homes are rarely if ever, used. The average American home has about 300,000 items! Those are both pre-COVID numbers. With the advent of Amazon, those numbers can only be climbing. Purge baby! You won't miss the junk. I promise. You'll feel lighter and will be able to breathe again. Get help if you need it, but start cleaning. You and your family will be glad you did. (1 Corinthians 14:40, Proverbs 31:27)

2. I don't know how to cook

Some folks do have more natural ability in this area, but you can learn to make some easy, tasty dishes. Believe it or not, I learned to cook before the internet. Shocking, I know. It's easier than ever to find good recipes. Pinterest! Does another lady at church cook well? Ask her for some ideas. As with anything, you will get better if you devote time and effort. You do not have to be a 5-star chef to have company over for lunch after church on a Sunday afternoon. A crockpot of chili, some fresh bread, and a pan of brownies would make a lovely meal. (Proverbs 31:14-15)

3. My house is too small

I get it. Really, I do. The home I live in now is huge, but that was not always the case. I lived in tight places all my life. But in my Chicago bungalow, I hosted birthday parties, baby showers, and Thanksgiving feasts for upwards of 20 guests... all the time. Did I have to move the furniture before everyone arrived? Yes. Was my house trashed after everyone left? Also, yes. Yet I look back on those times with fondness, and I hope those I love do, too. If you absolutely cannot have anyone else in your space... be creative. Take it on the road. Invite some other moms to the park for a play date... you bring a yummy snack. Set up the fire pit in the backyard yard. Make smores and hot chocolate. (Proverbs 21:9, 25:24)

4. I can't afford it

Here again, you need to use your imagination. Host a game night with just snacks. Invite folks over for dessert only. Invite some ladies over in the afternoon for tea and cookies or a fresh loaf of banana bread. Entertaining focuses on the production, but hospitality focuses on people. (Proverbs 15:17)

5. I don't have time

I've been short on time for about 25 years now. The truth is we make time for what we deem important. I guarantee you won't practice hospitality if you don't plan it. We must schedule things until it becomes a habit. I think of other Christian duties like Bible reading or witnessing... I won't do those things if I don't plan to do them. If something matters to you, you will make the time. (Ephesians 5:15-17)

6. I don't really like people

"It's too people-y outside."

"I used to be a people person but then people ruined that for me."

"People say I act like I don't care... it's not an act."

Sadly, these phrases are common in our lives and thinking. Even signs on front doors that say, "Go away" and other unkind things. Life is relationships. Don't let the world or even your deceitful heart tell you people aren't worth your time and effort. It is unbiblical and un-Christlike to think this way. We all have annoyances and people struggles. We have all been hurt. The Bible is still right and true, though. Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another. Hospitality requires you to love sacrificially, but haven't we been loved that way, too? Yes, by our wonderful Jesus. (Hebrews 13:2)

Don't let these obstacles stop you from doing what is right! Decide to take action! Work through a bit of difficulty to find the opportunity. And when you do, you will also find the blessing of hospitality.

 

A Seat at the Table

Genuine hospitality has its roots in the love of God and the love of our neighbor.

How did Jesus show hospitality? The Bible says he had no place to lay His head. He often invited Himself over to other folks' homes! Remember the story of Zaccheus? It seems Jesus was always a guest and never a host, yet Jesus showed hospitality by offering His presence and attention. So often, you see Him listening to understand the speaker's heart, not just giving an answer. Mary and Martha, or the rich, young ruler, come to mind here. Through this, He shouts, "You are worthy of my time, attention, and care.”

The phrase, "He sat at meat," is used at least ten times in the Gospels. Jesus talked and listened. He bore the burdens of those around Him. Life is tasteless without the loving interactions of people. In an age of phones, screens, and media, it's not hard to see why we live in a world full of empty people. We are starved for authentic connection. What the New Testament calls the fellowship of the saints. This fellowship begins with knowing Christ as our Saviour.

Jesus welcomed those who didn't deserve a welcome, and that includes you and me. Jesus showed ultimate hospitality by calling for us to take a seat at the table. By making a way for us to be a part of the family of God. To be a child of the King! To become the sons of God.

Because of this invitation, Peter tells us in 1 Peter 4:7-10 to use hospitality without grudging because we have received the gift, and so we should minister the same one to another. 

Hosting a gathering around the a fire on
the patio at Saint's Rest.

Hospitality sometimes requires us to set aside our pride and be humble enough to admit we need connection. We need encouragement. We need care. Then do for our neighbor as unto ourselves. (Hebrews 13:16)

Our freedom in Christ is given to us to serve others, not to be an excuse to do anything we wish. Not to fill our lives with selfish pursuits. (Galatians 5:13) Jesus came to reach people. People that were, in fact, His enemy. He gave His life in sacrifice for us. He calls for us to be His agents of biblical hospitality in His absence... And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. ( Matthew 25:35-40)

Jesus calls for us to give people our time, attention, and care. He calls for us to provide the gift of our presence to show His love to those around us.

 

"True hospitality is when someone leaves your home feeling better about themselves and not about you."

-Shauna Neiquist