Hospitality: What It Is and Is Not

 

Note: Last November, my wife, Mandy, wrote a series of Facebook posts on the subject of hospitality. They were most helpful. I have combined them with her permission into a short, two-part blog series. Here's the first part:

What Hospitality Is

Since we are coming into the holiday and hosting season, I wanted to share some thoughts about hospitality over the next few weeks. Tom and I have always taken hospitality seriously and have sought to encourage others to do the same. I hope some of these thoughts will challenge and encourage you.

Romans 12:13 Distributing to the necessity of the saints; given to hospitality.

Hospitality is more than just entertaining. Hospitality is filling a need. It's setting people at ease. Many years of living in a big city saw us welcoming people who were adjusting to a new home, new job, new culture, new church, and new country into our home! 

We are often called to minister through hospitality to a new believer who has absolutely no clue what living life as a Christian looks like in practical terms. Using hospitality helps to build these people up. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to comfort each other and edify one another. As you open your home and life to others, this will happen.

Hospitality is a method of encouragement for the discouraged, showing them the heart of Jesus. It puts some skin on Christianity. It shows them the Christian life in action. In 1 Corinthians, Paul said to be followers of me, even as I am of Christ. Opening your home and life to people will give them a glimpse of what following Jesus involves. And that should include love and care. Hospitality is not just inviting people to your home; it is asking them to share your life.

You cannot help bear the burdens of others if you do not know the burdens!

(Galatians 6:2) Learning about people, their experience, and their story will help you understand them and give you patience as you work with them.

Hospitality requires you to get out of your comfort zone! Some people are complicated! They have a difficult past and awkward manner, a significant problem or disability. Practicing hospitality will help those things fade in your eyes as you care for and serve them.

I remember many years ago, a couple began attending our church. They had a complicated story and, quite frankly, got on my nerves. One rainy afternoon, I situated my two oldest at the church with their dad to do school, and I packed my toddler up and met the wife at a coffee shop. I felt like I had been beaten up after sitting there listening to her for two hours. I offered what little counsel and comfort I could. I prayed with her and then drove the few short blocks back home.

The Lord put a thought into my mind as I went back home... if she were your sister, wouldn't you want someone to spend the time to care for her? I answered back with a resounding, “Yes!” I pray often that others will minister to my family in my absence. So then, I need to be willing to minister to others and their families!

As you practice hospitality, ask the Holy Spirit to give you discernment. Ask for help noticing needs. (Romans 8.14) And when you see a need... meet it!

Jesus met needs! It did not try to ignore the needs of the hurting around Him. We need to stop pretending we are the only people in the world that are busy or broke. We must stop ignoring people under the guise of "That's not my job." Authentic Christianity will include hospitality. The more mature you become as a Christian, the more your heart will be moved to meet your needs.

Hospitality is more than having a dinner party. As with many things in the Christian life, it begins in our hearts and works its way outward.

You won't always get it right as you seek to practice hospitality, but if you keep practicing, you will get more accomplished! Let's grow together!

1 Peter 4:9 Use hospitality one to another without grudging.

What Hospitality is Not

1. It's not a contest!

If your hospitality involves, "Look what I can do", it has already become a sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal. 

We were invited to a lovely, authentic Cajun dinner earlier this year. We were served Etouffee, rice, homemade rolls and two flavors of King cake! Everything I put in my mouth was delicious, and I couldn't recreate that meal today if my life depended on it! Yet, not once in my visit to that home did I think, "Oh, man! This hostess can really outdo me... I better take notes so I can make something even fancier when they come over for dinner!"

It's not a contest! Their family was simply seeking to be a blessing and to share a special part of their life with us and so we enjoyed a lovely evening of fellowship. (Acts 2:42 ) If we look at hospitality as a way to outdo someone, we will come out empty every time. Graciously give and receive the ministry of hospitality. (Proverbs 11:16 )

2. It's not an excuse to shortchange your own family.

Hospitality does not involve buying things you don't need, with money you don't have, to impress people you don't like! Hospitality is sharing what God has given you and done for you. Don't hurt your budget by overdoing it for the company. Don't take time away from the responsibilities of your own family to host lavish parties. Don't always give your family your leftover time and effort. We must have balance! (Proverbs 31:27)

3. It is not perfection.

Think of Moses and his conversation with God in the burning bush... What is that in thine hand? ( Exodus 4:2 ) God doesn't expect you to make everything perfect at your dinner party... in fact, we will never encounter perfection until we reach Heaven.

"It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful." I read that quote long ago in a decorating book. It's true! God is in the redeeming business... He is also in the multiplying business. Think with me here about the little boy's lunch. (John 6:1-13) God can do the same thing with your hospitality! He can take your little apartment, your pot of soup, your game night, and He can bring baskets of good out of your simple offering, even if it's imperfect.

As in all areas of Christian life, we need to submit, obey, and let God give us an increase. He takes our human limitations and does miraculous things for His glory. Yes, even in hospitality!

Ephesians 8:20, 21 Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto Hom be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.