Suffering 10
Thus far in this series on suffering,
we have discussed what suffering is, and examined three who suffered in the Bible,
God, Jesus, and Job. Before we move on to a different facet of this study, I
want to examine one more individual who suffered much in the Word of God,
namely, Joseph. We do not generally think of Joseph first when we think of
suffering, but his suffering was acute. Further, what he endured and how he
handled it over time contains some wonderfully practical lessons for us.
Joseph's Brothers Returning by Pietro della Vecchia c 1650 |
In looking at his life, I would argue
that Joseph’s suffering revolved primarily around his family. In one way or
another, he endured the loss of something precious via the death of his mother (Genesis
35.18-19), the favoritism of his father (Genesis 37.3-4), the scorn
of his brothers (Genesis 37.4, 8), and the corresponding loss of peace
in the home (Genesis 37.4). He was threatened with death by his brothers
(Genesis 37.18, 20), sold into Egyptian slavery by his brothers (Genesis
37.27-28), endured the loss of his childhood home and family, the disorientation
of being thrust suddenly into a foreign culture, sexual harassment (Genesis 39.7),
slander by his abuser (Genesis 39.14-15), a serious legal charge of
rape (Genesis 39.14, 17), and was forgotten in prison for years (Genesis
41.1).
That paragraph reads like a counsellor’s
nightmare. Twenty years after these events, the trauma of them still gripped
Joseph. In the process of being reconciled with his family, the Word of God tells
us that Joseph wept on six specific occasions. (Genesis 42.21, 43.30, 45.2,
46.29, 50.1, 50.17) And each of these six cases was directly tied to his
family, and the loss he had suffered in that context over the decades.
At the risk of being controversial, it
is my contention that Joseph’s suffering was the result of generational sin. Ezekiel
18.2 tells us each of us is accountable for himself, but the choices I
make, for good or ill, greatly affect the environment in which my children grow
up. My choices influence them. Wrong actions – sin – are rooted in wrong
thinking. Often, that wrong thinking is passed down generationally so those
wrong actions are passed down generationally as well.
When we find Joseph, favoritism and
deceit are both part of his life, and no wonder – they were part of his
forefather’s lives. Joseph’s grandfather, Isaac, viewed Esau much more
favorably than Jacob. Joseph’s grandmother, Rebekah, did the exact opposite. (Genesis
35.28) In this environment, Jacob learned deceit at his mother’s knee as
she sought to advance her chosen son. It was her idea to use the goats in place
of the venison. It was her hands that cooked the meat. It was her idea to put Esau’s
clothes on Jacob. It was her idea to put the goatskins on his hands. Is it any
wonder that Jacob’s name literally came to mean deceiver? Or that he lived up
to that name by deceiving Esau, Isaac, and Laban?
The favoritism we see in Joseph’s
grandparents we next find in his parents. Jacob expresses a clear preference
for Rachel’s sons, Joseph and Benjamin. The deceit had even deeper roots.
Joseph’s grandfather, Isaac, deceived the men of Gerar regarding his wife. He
told them she was his sister. (Genesis 26.6-7) Where did Joseph’s grandfather
learn that? From his own father, Abraham, who did it first in Egypt. (Genesis
12.10-13)
In such a familial milieu it will
little surprise us to find it in Joseph’s day. Deceit and favoritism run like a
dark thread through four consecutive generations and Joseph is the victim of it.
He is the favorite. His brothers beat him up, sell him into slavery, and
deceive their father about it all.
It is undeniable that Joseph suffered awfully
as a result of all of this. How then did he handle it? I would argue that he
dealt with his suffering via forgiveness in his heart.
Joseph, Son of Jacob, in Jail by Mariano Barbasan c 1900 |
Ultimately, sin is done against God.
David’s penitential Psalm 51 shows us this. Sin is the violation of His
law, not mine. This is why He and He alone has the duty and prerogative of dispensing
justice and vengeance. (Romans 12.19) At the same time, however, sin is
also against people. Generally, sin and especially the consequence of sin is toward
or against someone. At the least, our sin almost always causes suffering, for
ourselves and others. Thus, while most of the time Scripture says we sin
against God, there is also the idea or concept of sinning against an
individual. (I Samuel 19.4) Surely, Saul’s sin of murderous rage was
also against David. Surely, David’s sin of adultery and murderous coverup was
also against Uriah. Surely, the brothers violence, greed, and deceit was also
against Joseph.
If I can be sinned against – and I can
– then I need to forgive. My forgiveness does not take away God’s
responsibility to dispense justice, but it does lay my own sense of injustice
and thus my own justified sense of vengeance aside. The damage is in me; the
healing must begin there too. In Joseph’s case, literally four generations of
family deceit had resulted in an accumulation of toxic sludge. Before he could cleanse
that in his family he had to purge it in himself first.
In a sense, too, this is more
suffering. If suffering is loss, then when I forgive I must lose my sense of
injury, of injustice. I must release my right to demand an accounting from them,
release it into the hands of God, the Judge of all.
Did you ever consider why God left
Joseph in such misery for two long decades? Slavery, then prison, then being
forgotten in prison? Because God was peeling him like an onion. The Joseph that
started that journey was arrogant, and then arrogantly angry. Over many a
painful hour, God sloughed that off of Joseph’s heart. Before Joseph could
handle exaltation in Egypt, let alone heal the deep wounds in his family God
had to heal Joseph. That healing began as he fought and won the battles of
forgiveness in his heart.
It is clear from the Word of God that
Joseph forgave his brethren long before they showed back up in his courtroom decades
later. Yet though he had forgiven them, Joseph still required of them
repentance, and justifiably so. When they arrive, he recognizes them instantly.
He now has the legal power and ability to enact vengeance, but he has already laid
that aside in his heart. So why does he not extend that forgiveness to them
immediately? Because he was not sure they were repentant.
This was not payback on Joseph’s part;
it was testing. A vengeful person does not weep as we have seen Joseph weeps
during this period. He keeps Simeon, and sends the rest back, insisting they
return with Benjamin. He spoils Benjamin, testing whether they will be jealous
of Benjamin as they were of Joseph two decades prior. He then forces a
confrontation over Benjamin. In the process, he discovers his brothers are conscious
of their sin, that they refuse to bite at the temptation of jealousy, and they
are willing to take Benjamin’s place in suffering.
Joseph does not ask them if they are sorry; he tests them if they are sorry. Actions speak so much more loudly than words, especially actions under pressure. Joseph pushes his brethren to the wall, and they respond beautifully with sorrow and humility. (Genesis 44.14-16) This reminds me so much of how God deals with us. The result of this difficult process was reconciliation, initially when Joseph revealed himself (Genesis 49.1), and ultimately after Jacob’s death. (Genesis 50.15-19)
What do we learn from all this? Someone
has to break the cycle of generational sin in a family, and the stop the
corresponding damage that flows from it. Doing so will cost something. If
someone in my family hurts me, I should seek to remember some of their
decisions may be grounded in generational sin. I can and should forgive family
members who have hurt me, whether they ever repent or not, but reconciliation
is dependent on their repentance. Forgiveness in our heart greatly eases our
own suffering; repentance alone can ease theirs. But both of these – heart forgiveness
and thorough repentance – are necessary to heal the deep wounds of generational
sin.
It is probable that nothing will cause
you more heartache in this life than your family. If it continues through you
to another generation the devil wins. Forgive. Look for repentance. Welcome
reconciliation.
Suffer your family well.
What a blessing.
ReplyDeleteWhat is unique to Joseph and not to most of us in our family dynamic is that he was the authority in this situation and they came to him for help. So this seems to limit significantly the application of “testing” family members for signs of repentance. Thoughts?
ReplyDeleteI think we always have to be careful playing God, in this context testing people's repentance instead of just accepting their word. And I think context is the key here, not authority. When you have a family member that has a longstanding pattern of paying lip service to repentance but no life to match it you have to treat them differently, IMHO. God can see their heart; we can't. We can see their actions, though, and actions speak louder than words.
DeleteI'm not sure if that helps any. It probably needs fleshed out a bunch more honestly.
Is this series available as a collection or for purchase?
ReplyDeleteI am currently writing it week to week. I did preach a series last year in our church that forms the basis of the notes I am using to write from. That series is available to listen to for free on our church website. The series is entitlled, "This Treasured Fellowship."
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