Marriage 16
Several months ago, we began this
series on marriage by exploring how God views marriage. We should get our view
of marriage from Him as much as possible. Next, we turned our attention to the
husband, and for two months, we looked at his responsibilities in marriage.
Now, we will spend the next several weeks looking at the wife's obligations.
I Corinthians 7 is one of the
thorniest chapters in the entire Bible. This is both because it is somewhat
complex in places and because the subject matter is not easily handled or often
discussed. Having said that, there is much good material in it that pertains to
marriage, including this verse: The unmarried woman careth for the things of
the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is
married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
A careless reading assumes Paul is
praising the single life and criticizing the married life. Such is not the
case. As he develops in the context, there are advantages to being unmarried.
You are more free to serve the Lord. You have more money, more available time,
more mental focus, and can put more energy into serving the Lord than a husband
or wife can, especially if they have children. Spouses have responsibilities
toward one another, and parents have responsibilities toward children that can
and often do limit their ability to serve the Lord freely. This is not wrong;
it is how God designed it. There are downsides to being free of marital or
parental duties, but surely one of the benefits is an increased ability to join
in with the work of the Lord.
Though that is Paul’s primary point in
context, there is yet an application here for wives. She is supposed to take
care to please her husband. I doubt any feminists read after me, but I care not
if they do. God tells us in the Scripture record that a wife is to prioritize
ministering to her husband above any other aspect of her life besides her
relationship with the Lord. He is a more important ministry than your children,
your parents, your career, or your
church. Once married, her husband is to be her primary duty and focus.
We see this exemplified from the
beginning. And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be
alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Genesis 2.18) The idea of the
phrase help meet in the original language is that of one who is particularly
suited for him. Think of a puzzle with a missing piece. You cannot throw just
anything in there; it must be a piece that fits the absence precisely. In this
sense, a man is essentially incomplete until he gets married. Assuming he
chooses wisely, she completes him; she fits him.
But why? So she can help him. God did
not parachute a wife into my life so that I could walk into church with a
trophy on my arm and impress everyone. I asked my wife once where she was all
my life. She said, "Growing up." I searched meticulously for someone
that would fit me and what I believed God wanted me to do with my life. While I
was searching, God was painstakingly preparing her to suit my needs precisely
as I serve Him. She fits me and then helps me as I seek to do God's will.
I do not mean to imply here that a
wife should not have a ministry beyond her husband, nor do I have much patience
with those who would hide their carnality behind such sophistry. My wife is a
soul winner, a counselor, a discipler, and a teacher at our church. She sings
in the choir and plays a musical instrument in almost every service. She excels
at coordinating events and extending hospitality. She leads a homeschool group. More importantly, she is an
astonishingly good mother. Yet, in all this, she has not left the role of wife
to second fiddle in the least. For twenty-four years, we have served the Lord
together as man and wife. We are a team. She is the second half of me, the
better half, as the term says. She is the best earthly gift God has ever given
me.
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