Some months ago, someone sent
me a private message thanking me for my online demeanor, especially with people
who disagreed with me. They followed up with a request for some of the
principles guiding my overall online approach. While there are books, specifically
Martin Wickens’ Heart and Scroll, that address such things well, I responded to
the pm with a few thoughts of my own. Here is my answer to them:
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1. I believe in using my own
name and doing so publicly. This constrains me from the evils in my nature that
would be freed by being anonymous. And, especially as a pastor, it informs my
online speech because I am always conscious that one of my church members might
see this conversation, and it could be a stumbling block to them.
2. I believe in being fair to
my opponent. I mean this in the sense of intellectual honesty. If I am going to
attack their position, I need to do so having accurately understood and/or
represented that position.
3. I believe in being
charitable as much as lieth in me. Almost always, the individuals I disagree
with online are also God's children. God wants His children to deal in loving
respect with one another, even in disagreement. I try to remember that I don't
know all the facts. I try to remember I am fallible. I try to remember I have
changed/grown from one position to another in various ways over the years. I
try to remember the other person is sincere and also loves the Lord. All that
helps me to be charitable.
4. I believe in the necessity
of having a clear conscience when I meet my opponent in Heaven. I don't want
the first words out of my mouth to be a very long apology and request for
forgiveness. Maybe I can't reconcile the relationship, and/or maybe we will
stay on opposite sides of the issue, but I want to keep right toward that
individual in my heart.
5. I believe in the necessity
of God's people to speak up in the public arena. In New England, a few hundred
years ago, that was the town hall. In our day, it is the community Facebook
groups and comment pages. We need to stand for the truth and right graciously,
kindly, yes, but firmly and without apology. If wrong is being
promoted/celebrated in our community, God’s people ought to push back against
it publicly and vocally.
6. I believe in trying to
persuade the lurker more than trying to persuade my opponent. In other words, I
try to present reasonable arguments to move people toward my position and away
from my opponents, but I don't worry at all if I can't persuade my opponent. I
aim, in my mind, for the reasonable yet unpersuaded individual who reads but
never comments. Those are my converts.
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7. I believe in letting
someone else have the last word as much as possible. It restrains me from
beating someone or some subject into the ground, and humbles me.
8. I believe in public
apology as a necessary good when required.
9. I believe public attacks
should almost always be in relation to position and not in relation to
people/personalities, etc. Sometimes the two are intertwined, and I accept
that, but my heart needs to be right in my own intent/approach.
10. I believe public
sin/error on the part of a religious leader does not necessarily require a
private approach from me first. Church discipline and online discussion are not
necessarily the same thing. If someone seeks to be a public influence and I judge
that influence to be dangerous to people or concepts I hold dear, I can speak
out publicly against it without approaching them privately first.
