Marriage Is a Team

 

Marriage 6

 

 

          It is not good for man to be alone. It is really not good for a man to be alone when he is in a marriage. In fact, it is a crying tragedy. Yet it happens more often than we like to admit. And every time we see it, we know we are seeing an exhibition of a marriage God did not design. Why? Because God designed marriage to be a team.

          This is exemplified most clearly in a particular New Testament couple, Aquila and Priscilla. We meet them by way of Paul in Acts 18. He comes across them first in Corinth (Acts 18.1-2) and is drawn to them because they share an occupation, tent-making. Later in the same chapter, we meet Apollos, an eloquent man and mighty in the Scriptures. (Acts 18.25) The problem is that Apollos was preaching John's baptism of repentance, looking forward to a coming Messiah. He should have been preaching Jesus. The Lord kindly sent him a couple of teachers. Whom when Aquila and Priscilla had heard, they took him unto them, and expounded unto him the way of God more perfectly. (Acts 18.26)  

          Something is fascinating here in a marriage context. Every-single-time they are mentioned in Scripture, by name or pronoun, they are together. Every single time. (Acts 18.2, 18.3, 18.18, 18.19, 18.20, 18.21, 18.26, Romans 16.3, I Corinthians 16.19, II Timothy 4.19) The Scripture tells us they worked together, traveled together, lived together, went to church together, converted together, studied theology together, and taught together. He did not build a ministry over here while she lived a separate life over there. They did it together.

          I think I understand that. Mandy and I serve the Lord together. I am a pastor, which means I do everything except work in the nursery and play the piano. She does those two, in addition to organizing ladies' activities, goes soul winning weekly, trains new soul winners, leads our homeschool group, does discipleship with me, does marital counseling with me, sings in the choir, decorates the auditorium, manages our prophet's chamber, teaches Sunday School periodically, sings special music with me and others, visits with me, and plans church activities with me. I do not have a separate life from her; she does not have a separate life from me. We serve the Lord together. At times, we have considered converting to Pentecostalism. Then, at least, we could get two salaries instead of one. <grin>

          Please do not misunderstand me. Every couple has a marriage dynamic that makes sense to you. I am not saying that your wife has to do with you everything my wife does with me. Nor am I saying that this alone is the answer to making a great marriage. But I am saying that there is a clear biblical example of one couple who were an awesome team. Together.

          This is one reason I have sought to move our church gradually toward using married couples together for ministry. Teach a class together. Go soul winning together. Be responsible for a service commitment together. Visit the shut-ins together. I do not want ministry service to impact the families in our church negatively. I try to be careful of what I ask with that in mind. But the solution is not to not serve God because of family commitments; it is to incorporate your family into your service to God.

          Of course, this is not applicable only to ministry. I am thinking right now of a dairy farmer of my acquaintance. He and his wife worked together for decades building their business. Many small businesses are like that, husband and wife laboring together, often with a child or three thrown into the mix as time goes along. I think we could make a decent argument that America was a better place when families worked together more than they do now.

          "Next thing you'll say, Pastor Brennan, is that we're even supposed to go bowling together. That's too much for a body to take." Yes. And no. It would be great if you joined a bowling league or a gardening club together. But, no, I am not saying you have to be together 24/7. I am saying your marriage should function as a team; that is how God designed it.

          If you want to be alone, then be alone. But if you get married, do not be alone. Be together.

Marriage is a team.