Wife, Be Sweet to Your Husband

 

Marriage 22

 

For three things the earth is disquieted, and for four which it cannot bear: For a servant when he reigneth; and a fool when he is filled with meat; For an odious woman when she is married; and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress. (Proverbs 30.21-23)

 

          The simplest definition of the word "odious" is hateful. When a hateful woman enters the bonds of matrimony, the whole world marvels, and not in a good way. How can he stand to be married to that? She is a grouchy, nagging, bitter, argumentative battle axe of a harpie, always yelling at him, always complaining about him, always criticizing him, always finding fault with whatever he does or does not do or say.

          By contrast, and a startling one at that, place a sweet, affectionate, admiring, agreeable gem of a woman on the other side, one always complimenting her husband, always thanking him, always talking good about him, always praising him.

          Which one do you want to be married to?

          Which one do you want to be?

          Many years ago, my doorbell rang on a weekday mid-afternoon. I was startled to see one of our ladies standing at my front door. With a scowl, she thrust a folded-up piece of paper out toward me and growled, "He left me." I reached for it, unfolded it, and read the scrawled note inside. You can guess what it contained. I did the best I could at that moment to help her and continued to do so in years to come as I had already done in years past. But, as God is my witness, my first conscious thought was, "What took him so long?"

          I am here reminded of Winston Churchill's famous rejoinder in a similar scene. Seated next to a particular vociferous opponent of a woman, she gave him the business all through dinner. Finally, as if to crown her marvelous takedown of the 20^th century's most important man, she said, "Mr. Prime Minister, if you were my husband, I would poison your tea." Without missing a beat, he demolished her by replying, "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."

          In a different millennium on a different continent, another wise man said, It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. (Proverbs 21.9) Ten verses later, he reiterated and thus strengthened the thought. It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. (Proverbs 21.19)

          My dear sister, all the world howls after your husband. If he is the kind of man he ought to be, he battles all day long. When he comes home, he should not have to face more battles. Indeed, if he does, do not be surprised if he begins to avoid coming home. In such situations, he may and often does stop coming home altogether. A foolish woman chases her husband away; a wise woman makes him want to come home. She builds a refuge there, a castle for her king, a home for his soul, a rest for his spirit.

          Be sweet to him. Be the woman he wants to be around the most. This is the way.