Marriage 4
In beginning this series on marriage,
I have attempted to emphasize God's view of marriage. This is because our view
of marriage is often faulty, formed through some less-than-ideal manner. Thus
far, we have noted that God's original intent for marriage was to banish
loneliness, establish sweet intimacy, and for the wife to be her husband's
helpmeet. Building off that, we saw that God views marriage as a commitment
last time. Today, we will discover that God views marriage as a comfort.
Numerous jokes imply that the marriage state is a painful one. Even an incomplete search for such things quickly yields finds such as these:
“My
wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
-Rodney
Dangerfield
“Getting
married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to
it, it ain't so hot.”
-Minnie Pearl
"I
haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
-Rodney Dangerfield
"The
husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his
checkbook open."
-Groucho
Marx
“Do
you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a
little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the
wrong house, that's what it means.”
-Henny Youngman
“Alimony
- The ransom that the happy pay to the devil.”
-H.L.
Mencken
"My
wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to
breathe."
-Jimmy Durante
"I
never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as
a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all
afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night."
-Marie Corelli
“The
secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
-Henny
Youngman
“If
you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go
ahead, get married.”
-Katharine
Hepburn
"I
never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too
late."
-Max
Kauffmann
"Some
people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant
two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She
goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
-Henny Youngman
I confess I am probably guilty of
exploiting the subject of marriage for a cheap laugh or two myself, but the
scriptural truth is that marriage is not a life sentence; it is a comfort. My
wife is not "the old ball and chain" or "the battle axe."
Your husband is not the dreamboat that became a shipwreck. Marriage is not an
instrument of medieval torture akin to the rack; it is a beautiful tapestry
woven of threads of cheerfulness, contentment, enjoyment, happiness, peace,
pleasure, rest, satisfaction, and warmth.
We see examples of this in Scripture
on the positive and negative sides. Isaac found solace in his marriage to
Rebekah. And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took
Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted
after his mother’s death. (Genesis 24.67) Job, on the other hand, found
added misery in his marriage. And he took him a potsherd to scrape himself
withal; and he sat down among the ashes. Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou
still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die. (Job 2.8-9)
I know what it is like to walk in the
door of my home at night, weary and burdened with the cares of the day. In Eddy
Arnold's immortal words, I want someone to "make the world go away, and
get it off my shoulders; say the things you used to say, and make the world go
away." And this is precisely what my family, led by my wife, does. I am
home, the world is shut out, and nothing else matters. Mandy is my Rebekah.
Did you know that you are supposed to enjoy your marriage? Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun. (Ecclesisates 9.9) Did you know God describes marriage as a good thing? Whose findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. (Proverbs 18.22) Marriage is not an institution of suffering. Marriage is not a looming disaster on the horizon. It is a joyful, peaceful, blessed, good thing created by God for the comfort of men and women. In fact, God views marriage as a bit of Heaven on Earth. In Matthew 9.15, 22.9, and 25.1, Jesus repeatedly equates the kingdom of God to marriage. This is later expanded on in Revelation repeatedly.
Re
19:7 Let us be glad and rejoice, and
give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath
made herself ready.
Re
19:9 And he saith unto me, Write,
Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he
saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God.
Re
21:2 And I John saw the holy city, new
Jerusalem, coming down from God out of Heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for
her husband.
Re
21:9 And there came unto me one of the
seven angels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and
talked with me, saying, Come hither, I will shew thee the bride, the Lamb’s
wife.
Re 22:17 And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.
Marriage is such a great blessing that
when God wanted something to compare the joy and blessing of an eternity in
Heaven to on an earthly scale, He chose marriage.
Some of us have become so colored by
our past experiences or the prevailing culture of our day that we have trouble
wrapping our minds around this. I am not denying that a good marriage takes
incredible hard work. I am not denying there is often pain in marriage. I do
not deny that every marriage comprises two imperfect, selfish people. But I am
denying that our view of marriage ought to be negative.
Often, all that is necessary for real
change is to change your attitude about something. Many years ago, before Mandy
and I had children, I said something to the effect that I thought newborn
babies were ugly. She did not berate me. Instead, she looked at me and said
simply, "You won't think that about your own babies." Nor did I. Now,
to me, all newborns are beautiful. They did not change, but my attitude toward
them did.
When my attitude changed, what was
once distasteful to me became a marvel of joy, beauty, and blessing. If your
view of marriage is a negative one, I urge you to trade in your view of
marriage for God's view of marriage.
Mandy and I are on our wedding day. |
Do you remember how you felt the day
you got married? A little nervous. A little excited. A lot happy. Which is a
bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoiceth as a strong man to run a
race. (Psalm 19.5) Recapture that. Look at your marriage like God looks at
your marriage. It is a good thing designed by Him to bless and comfort you.
Change your mind. Rejoice in your
marriage.
Thank you sir. Judy and I married on 6/28/1963. She is a blessing. We have known great joy and intense sorrow (son in Heaven) and God's presence with us, even in the valley of the deep darkness (per the Hebrew of Psalm 23:4). We are grateful for two wonderful daughters, four grandsons and two granddaughters.
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