Marriage Is Honorable

 

 

Marriage 7

 

          Unknown perhaps to us, we have all too often adopted an unhealthy, unscriptural view of marriage. Like cucumbers pickled in brine, too many of God's people have borrowed their concept of marriage from the world's milieu. Thus, I have begun this series on my marriage by attempting to thrust us back into the Word of God. God began this divine institution; how does He view it?

          I have a simple thought today, one for which I am indebted to Rosario Butterfield. In one of her books, she went to great lengths to establish this very thought, so much so that I, too, have decided to emphasize it in my own ministry. It is this: marriage is honorable.

          God Himself makes this statement via the inspired human writer of Hebrews 13.4. Marriage is honourable in all. Honorable is defined by the dictionary as something worthy of honor and high respect. In the original language, it carries the connotation of a precious stone, highly prized for its value and beauty.

          You will think otherwise if you follow the news of our day. There, marriage is routinely mangled by positive references to “open” marriages, divorce, live-in relationships, homosexual “marriage”, throuples, sister wives, and a veritable plethora of ungodly variations and illustrations on the subject. It should not surprise us, then, to find traditional marriage as a concept increasingly abandoned. Indeed, our own Center for Disease Control has solemnly informed us that fewer people than ever are getting married, percentage-wise, and they have been tracking it for 124 years.  

          What a sad paragraph that last one was. The flaws it reveals about our society are deep and wide. Yet the stubborn truth remains – marriage is honorable.

          Marriage is not merely tradition; it is a divine institution. God ordained marriage. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth. (Genesis 1.27-28) Marriage as an institution was blessed by our Saviour when He performed His first miracle at the wedding in Cana.

          It then follows that regardless of what our society currently thinks, marriage is not under human authority; it is under divine authority. The state has to have some role in marriage, but the state did not invent marriage and does not have the right to re-invent, redefine, or abandon it. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mark 10.9) Marriage is a matter of obedience to God. We will give an account for our conduct in marriage as husbands and wives – not to the state, not even to our husbands/wives, but to the Lord.

          Genesis is the book of beginnings. The creation of humanity revealed there was not complete until God sealed the institution of marriage.

Genesis 2.18–24

18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

          We see several important things in the above passage.

          First, it is not good for man to be alone. An alone man is an incomplete man. Married men and women are not independent individuals who happen to share the same dwelling; we are mutually dependent on each other. Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God. (I Corinthians 11.11-12)  

          Second, God chose for Adam to experience this fundamental incompleteness so that he would view his wife not just as nice but as necessary. If you are reading this blog as a single individual in preparation for marriage your time is well spent, not just in reading this, but in your current state. Loneliness prepares you for the joy and blessing of marriage just as it prepares you to undertake the work of marriage. In God's good design, you will not just want to be married by the time marriage arrives; you will need to be married.

          Third, Adam did not invent marriage; God brought it to him. It was not Adam's idea but God's. It then follows that since marriage is by God's design, its arrangement and conduct must conform to His will.

          Fourth, women were explicitly created by God and in the image of God for marriage. As a man, I understand this and believe it. I cannot, however, allow myself to look down on women, brutalize them, consider them to be property, or to be somehow inferior to the male of the species. To the contrary, I should seek to elevate godly womanhood to the place of honor God gives them in His creation design.

          Fifth, the man was created from dust, but the woman was not; she was created from the man. And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female? And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? (Matthew 19.4-5) The sacred and intimate union that God designed to exist between a husband and a wife is the reason the dissolution of marriage is so painful. Divorce feels like a death because it is. Divorce is like severing part of your body, of yourself, from yourself.

          Most importantly, however, understanding marriage as honorable involves the realization that it represents the union between God and His people.

 

Ephesians 5.22–25

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

 

          How precious and valuable indeed must be that human relationship thus chosen to exemplify redemption itself and the church Jesus shed His blood to obtain. 

          What is marriage? Beloved, let us forget what the world and our experience have said on the subject. Let us hear God's voice on the matter. Marriage is a commitment. Marriage is a comfort. Marriage is a friendship. Marriage is a team. And marriage is honorable.

          Is yours? He intends it to be these things, and it can be these things— if we follow Him in the execution of it as we must believe Him in the design of it. Next week, then, we will turn from these foundational thoughts to some of the more practical aspects of marriage. We will begin with the husband first.

          See you then.