Marriage 12
A wife should praise her husband
exuberantly, excitedly, exquisitely, and extravagantly. Or at least that is
what is often said, with some justification. (We will get to that after a while
in this series.) What is not as usually said but bears saying is that a husband
should praise his wife. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her
husband also, and he praiseth her. (Proverbs 31.28)
When I reach back into the dim recesses of
my memory, I can recall my mother emphasizing the first part of this verse to
me. I did not understand why she did then; I understand it now and have
consciously sought to do so. I have also heard the same from those preaching
about or referencing the Proverbs 31 lady. But with rare exceptions, the latter
portion of the verse has been notoriously neglected. Almost always, when praise
or respect or reverencing comes up in the marriage discussion, the street we find
ourselves on is one way à from the wife to
the husband. My point is not a criticism of the call for a wife to reverence
her husband; it is that this respect and commendation is not a one-way street.
A husband should praise his wife to his
children.
It would be too much to say that a husband
understands what a mother is and does, but it would not be too much to say a
husband knows better than anybody what his children's mother is and does. He
was there when each child was conceived, carried, and born, with all the
attendant trouble to the mother. He was there when the child exhausted her in
the infant stage. He was there when the child wearied her in the toddler stage.
He has been there through the labour and sorrow of each successive stage of
parenting as well. He knows the cost, for he has watched her pay it unselfishly
hour by hour, week by week, month by month, and year by year.
Husband, tell your children how wonderful
their mother is.
A husband should praise his wife to his
friends.
The natural human condition is one of
complaint. "Let me tell you about my lumbago, sonny." This tendency
to complain is aggravated when we are amongst friends such that we can relax
around them. Then it is our troubles pour out as we lean into the sympathetic
ear. Sometimes, we even subconsciously seek to outdo the other complainers
around us in an effort to gain more sympathy and admiration for what we endure.
In the context of this blog post, it represents itself as the husband
complaining to the boys while they are bowling of a Tuesday night.
"You think your old lady is bad? I
couldn't wait to get out of the house. Wow. She's in rare form tonight, giving
me grief for all kinds of stuff I didn't even do. And you would think, with as
much time as she has sitting on her duff, that she could get dinner on the
stove in time and clean up a bit around the place. Watch me now, fellas. This
one'll be a strike for sure."
There are several ways to ensure the
foolishness of the prior paragraph does not come to life, but one of the best
is surely this: praise your wife to your friends. It turns the conversation
onto a higher plane and prevents you from griping later when you have a mind
to. Such praise can also motivate the husband listening to find reasons to do
the same for his own wife.
Husband, praise your wife to your
coworkers—especially the female ones. Indeed, the more attractive a coworker
is, the more your conversations around her ought to reference the joy,
happiness, and satisfaction you find in your marriage.
This praise does not have to be ugly. “My
wife is gorgeous. You could take a lesson here, Bertha." Rather, the
praise of a wife comes up naturally in a man's conversation when he discusses
his life. His wife is a major part of his life, and his discussion should thus
naturally be filled with references to her. Choose to make them positive
references. All the other women in the place will get the point.
Above all, husband, praise your wife to
her. Although word of your praise of her to others will get back to her, it
will do her soul a world of good when you praise her in her presence. A good
wife constantly gives of herself. The devil loves to tempt her with the lie
that no one notices, no one cares. Encourage her heart by telling her you
notice.
Did you ever hear the term self-fulfilling
prophecy? It implies a statement regarding the future which impacts the future
in the very way you state. It produces the conditions that create the
fulfillment it predicted. A husband who complains about his wife to all and
sundry will find his wife shrinks away from the selfless toil necessary to be a
good wife. His very criticism produces the result he says he does not want.
Well, beloved, the reverse is also true.
People become their praise. Tell her how valuable she is, and she will become
yet more valuable. Remind her of her true worth to you and to others. Never let
her forget it. Insulate her from discontent and the disease of feeling like a
failure. It is not pride you will produce, but joy and contentment and a
willingness to continue to give herself away.
All glory and praise belong to God,
surely, but Scripture makes plain that some of it belongs to deserving people.
Your wife is the most deserving of people. Praise her.
Good
ReplyDeleteAmen!
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